my mind wanders... on a thought of a green sunset

Sunday, November 25, 2007

I'm...

... reading a lot of stuff for academic purposes. Blame Communication2 (Writing?!?!?!), History1 (Philippine History), N3 (Human Anatomy and Physiology), N2(Human Development), Chem14 (General Chemistry) and Chem14.1(laboratory).

... practicing my left hand. I think I am overusing my dominant right, because my right upper extremity is thicker than my left.

... missing a lot of people.

... teaching MTAP at Manila Science. I love my students. They're much keen not to attend the sessions. That is good news. It's easier to teach small groups of people (only 5 remained for the second session. They were probably guilty or attending for the sake of their math project.).

... discovering my plights of being orally fixated.

=)

my mind fleeted at :9:44 pm ;

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Girl Falls In Love With Boy, Boy Dies, Girl Hates, Girl Excels in the Arts, Man Appears, Falls in Love, Girl... Must Heal Her Hurt With Love. =)

[hwang jini!]

Kay tagal ko nang pangarap
At lagi nang dasal
Pag-ibig na sadyang wagas
Ngunit waring kay ilap
Ng palad kong ito
At ako'y patuloy na bigo

O pusong kay sakit
Ala-alang kay pait
At kung muling balikan ang lahat ng nagdaan
Tila wala pang minahal at walang natagpuan
Nais ko sanang mag-isa, huwag ng umibig pa

Kung yan man ay totoo at manatili sa mundo
Na walang kulay
Walang buhay
Walang nagmamahal
Ngunit kung ako'y mahihintay
Umasa pa't umibig pang muli
Minsan pa

Minsan pa akong nangarap
At sana'y maganap
Sa'yo'y ibibigay lahat
Narito ngayo't kailanman
Ikaw ang langit ko
Tanging ningning ng buhay ko

Halina sa piling ko
Alisin ang takot ko
At sa muling malasap
Ang pag-ibig na ganap
At ang pangarap na mundo
Ay matupad sa piling mo
Ayaw ko nang muling mabuhay pang nag-iisa

Ikaw ang simula't wakas
Ang ngayon at ang bukas
Ikaw ang pag-asa habang buhay
Mahal pa rin kita
At hanggang wakas
Pag-ibig ko'y sadyang wagas
Ngayon at kailanman...

At ang pangarap na mundo
Ay matupad sa piling mo
Ayaw ko nang muling mabuhay pang nag-iisa

Ikaw ang simula't wakas
Ang ngayon at ang bukas
Ikaw ang pag-asa habang buhay
Mahal pa rin kita
At hanggang wakas
Pag-ibig ko'y sadyang wagas
Ngayon at kailanman
Minsan pa...

WE LOVE FAITH CUNETA! (Leslie, Inay Pau, and I)

Ciao~

my mind fleeted at :9:31 pm ;

Friday, November 09, 2007

Need Help...

... on how to raise eight thousand pesos in one month for the concert of the UP Manila chorale this coming December... I have the sponsorship letter... I really need the sponsors.. =)

... on how to meditate properly. I end up falling asleep.

... on how to dream rainbows and butterflies. So I wouldn't dream other, err, freaky things.

my mind fleeted at :3:03 pm ;

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Awkward, Awestruck, Awakened

I had the time to read my previous posts after discovering the benefit of the archives and putting it on my newly "skinned" blog, and I ended up dismayed because I was criticizing how I wrote the previous posts. This is a great improvement though - self-criticism - but doing it on the things that I felt before I was doing right in terms of expression and freedom of speech. At least now, I know what to do.

-

I was awestruck by the chorale practice yesterday. I discovered that the senior trainees love laughing, and I ended up laughing with them, with the scandals, the chitchat and the dancing. I was also (embarrassingly) surprised about the basses' singing problem - our tongues. Malikot daw yung dila. And during the last performance I think I was the one who doomed the Prayer of St. Francis. Now I have to relax my tongue.

-

I had a very weird dream. I was in a cemetery with people who I do not recognize. We were trying to walk around the cemetery. It came to a point that I decided to cross a path that requires one to jump from am open window to a large stone slab to another window. My first move was successful, I was able to jump from the window to the slab. Then another guy (who seems to be a friend but I don't recognize him) jumps and reaches the slab. Then he started joking and started tickling me. I was so pissed (because I am sensitive to tickling) and started screaming, telling him to stop. Then I looked down and realized that we were up high, and our view scoped of a resort, a forest and a town. The people below noticed me yelling and started to frown and form annoyed gestures. The guy stopped tickling me and tried to jump to the other window. His jump went off short and he fell, like a thousand of miles below. I started to panic, then tears suddenly flowed from my eyes; I was still watching the guy fall, and then sat on the stone slab, my back pressed firmly unto the wall.

Then I woke up with my arms crossed to my chest. They were numb.

Very weird dream. That was the first time I dreamed of someone else dying (though my dream ended before the guy could ever reach the ground, so no blood scattered).

Ciao~

my mind fleeted at :9:55 am ;

Saturday, November 03, 2007

The Sleeping Situation

I have to say my sleeping patterns have changed. Back when I was a young, I was a terrible snoozing machine, though I had difficulty falling asleep, waking me up is a very, very hard thing to do. I could not sleep with the lights on, and I need the silence that can make you hear a pen fall (the "pin" is too cliche and too unrealistic; though a pen can make a commotion, it just creates a soft thud *really?!?!?!*; oh... just quiet...). I also read a lot before I slept; I read while lying down and the next morning my book is folded, pressed and even crushed in abnormal ways because of my weight. I also do not indulge in siestas, because I get migraines when I sleep during the day and have difficulty falling asleep afterwards.

During my elementary graduation practice general rehearsal, the practice was so exhausting that when I got home, I went straight to bed. No dinner, and I didn't even wash my face or brush my teeth (icky, I know, but I was so wasted). I woke up in the middle of the night, and my parents have prepared food in advanced just in case I wake up (I love my parents!). Sure enough, the food ceased to exist in the physical world. Then I went back to sleep.

When I reached high school I had a habit of covering my eyes when I sleep. Though I could now sleep with the lights on, my ears are so sensitive that it keeps my mind awake. I just now realized maybe sounds decrease levels of seretonin in a brain in the first stage of NREM sleep. Nah... Doesn't make sense. Then I read somewhere that reading before sleeping doesn't lull people to dozing off, it stimulates the brain more; thus keeping you awake. Now I could not read before I sleep. Also, I slept very, very late, about 11 pm onwards. I also woke up late, but thankfully, most of the time got to school just in time.

If I lost sleep hours, my recovery takes much more time. For my body clock normal sleep takes eight hours. My maximum yet stable waking period is seven hours. Any earlier than that, a groggy Jay-V greets the world. Science Camp is one of the activities that extends waking hours to its fullest. After every camp I get so drowsy that when I reach any comfortable spot I lose consciousness, and wake up to find out that a lot of time has passed.

Once, there was a boring day and I fell asleep. I woke up from my three-hour long nap with a good feeling. Since then I started risking my head for some naps during afternoons. Some were successful at soothing my nerves, some made my nerves throb in dull pain.

When I reached fourth year high school my sleeping hours increased, partly because of my long and tiring bus trips home, and partly because of my inattentive nature and boring lessons. During Physics class I would sleep on top of the lab table even though I was sitting in an armchair (and hide from view). I was also in the front row. Good thing my teacher is so kind and patient that he doesn't mind.

When I moved to my aunt's house, I started sleeping early (I was waking up early anyway). I get sleepy at 8:30, fall asleep from 9 to 10 pm. My latest hour is 11 pm. When I started college, I was not sleeping in classes, though sometimes the drowsy pang hits me. I prefer sleeping in the library. It's much more cooler, and the books provide the narcotic smell of rotting paper that induces lethargy. Since my classes were early, I was required to set my phone's alarm. It took me a long time to adjust my ears, and I ended up running late for appointments or classes.

All Saint's Day is a very good excuse for staying up late. I was with my family and relatives in the mausoleum, taking bonding in a sort of transcendental way, since we are in the place where the dead lay in peace. I was with my cousins, and we went to their home, and started a DVD marathon. Deathnote got me awake until 4 am. Since I was lodging at another home, I was afraid to do what I did last time I slept there. We also slept up late, and I woke up after noon. That was so embarrassing for me, that before I slept, I vowed to wake up at a reasonable time. I did wake up early, just in time, but with a disastrously full bladder (and so the rush to the nearest bathroom commenced).

Just recently I slept in the same room as my very young nephew, who was so active that when he woke up and found that his parents are sleeping, he started screaming and crying and wreaked havoc among the snoozing people in the room. I was so unlucky that time, but I was also too sleepy to be disturbed. My sleep was disrupted a lot of times, but I continued my journey to Dreamland.

I could conclude that now I can be disturbed while I am sleeping. This is sad, but I may come in handy. Imagine if I dozed off too much on a fire.

I also sleep now during daylight. I am not a siesta fan when I was young, and I am discovering it now. I still wake up with a headache though.

Also, alarm clocks now work for me. Yey!

Ciao~

my mind fleeted at :9:27 pm ;

Friday, November 02, 2007

Feeling A Lot Less Soulful...

It is All Souls' Day though.

My past two days have been all about food and flowers. I am still living up to the "fatten-your-face" diet and still eat every two hours or so. I would have terrible adjustments to the second semester. Lunch breaks are reduced to an hour, or even less (if there are unfinished assignments and other such things), and classes run for up to four hours. I'll die of malnutrition in a very, well, academic way. Let's fight scholastic famine! T_T

--

Just recently I have realized some thoughts of me taking up formal lessons in Ikebana (I like aiming for these formal lessons, but they rarely happen. Life gives ways of distracting you, sometimes for bad, or sometimes for good. It's for keeping balance.). I helped my aunt (who is just inventing ways to arrange flowers for the dear departed) and we exchanged ideas about harmony of colors, vases, flower size, foliage and other things that could help improve the flora to be put in the mausoleum.

After everything was finished, the flower arrangements made the mausoleum very distracting. Bright red arthotiums (spellcheck please) that looked like plastic gleamed as if they would last forever (they do last long though, for about one to two weeks, they do not dry up as fast as other flowers) and I really liked the green flowers that were shaped like buttons that became accessory to every other color (Long live green!!!!!!!!!). There were also bright chrysanthemums and peach Malaysian mumps (I really don't know how to spell it... I can't help think of the sickness). Our place was really emblazoned with flower arrangements, and we received another arrangement of all-white flowers; a beautiful mix of stargazer lilies, arthoriums and baby's breath surrounded by lush leaves. I liked to call our mausoleum yesterday "Little Dangwa".

--

I miss the choir. T_T

my mind fleeted at :10:33 am ;